I have survived a 4 day week back with my students. Thursday was not so much fun; I was ready to quit but... Friday, was a much better day.
I ended up skipping my Doctor appointment. Insert a long story about not being able to call in sick the first day back. Dr. R was not too happy but understood. She set up a new appointment early next week. I still had to go get damn blood work drawn. I feel like a pin cushion. I have constant bruises on my arms. I also scarred where I had the IV put in. I am blowing that off to the chemo I was on. You know, with all "fast growing cells" being attacked, my body could not heal from the needle prick. I know it sounds like BS but it is my way of fooling myself, even if it doesn't fool you. Good news is my levels should be back to normal with in a few weeks.
Check out my livejournal if you want to know the bad news.
Ok, break over! I need to finish taking down the Christmas stuff. Yes, I always wait until the last day of Christmas to do this. Right after the Magi come and leave little things in the kids shoes we get to work getting everything back to normal. With the burning of the trees tonight following my favorite Christmas celebration The Feast of Light; I better get the tree de-lighted quickly.
~Niffer
My 4 bugs!
Ms. G, Mr. A, Lil AL, & Baby L
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
IN THE LAND OF THE PIG, THE BUTCHER IS KING
Christmas Sucks! It has been one helluva month. I ended up real sick and mom ended up back in the hospital. I did Christmas shopping in 2 days! That really hurt. I pushed myself hard to try to get everything done.
Update on mom, she is still having a hard time with the cancer. I wish there was more I could do but she keeps pushing me away. This last time was a bit much for me so I have not talked to her since Christmas morn when I was uninvited to Christmas dinner. Yes, I was the only one in the family not invited to dinner. B/C, my hubby, kids, and myself "are too much to handle and mom needs her rest."
If you want to skip the drama skip to the next DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA.
Ok let me go ahead and tell you the whole story. This summing crap is not working for me.
Mom got sick again and went back to the hospital a few days before Christmas. She ended up getting out Christmas morning. I had Christmas Eve dinner at my father in-law's. I was too tired to do Midnight-Mass (due to health), so I went home and crashed. Christmas Morning we get a call from mom that she is getting out. Great! I went to my mom in-law's for breakfest and was planning on going to mom's at 1 p.m. I knew the nut would not bring the kids back in time so I could go over and help and just "hang out". I get a call from mom in the middle of breakfast. ' I understand you are not planning to come over until after you get the kids." I told her that was correct. She then tells me she will be " too tired to do Christmas then" so I should just come over the next day. This is mom's passive aggressive way of saying "I am mad at you for not coming over first thing this morning. I am going to punish you." I very nicly agree and get off the phone with her. I was trying not ot get too upset at the breakfast table with Sean's family right there. I then talked to Sean , who reminded me that he did not have the next day off. I ended up being visibly upset all morning. I tried to enjoy the gifts my "new Family" was giving me but all I could think of was I had no idea what I was going to do for dinner now that I was uninvited to dinner with my family. (PB&J anyone?) So my Granny was coming down to cook Christmas dinner, along with my aunt, my 2 cousins, and baby. My sister her new hubby, my brother and DR. M were all going to be there for dinner. But my family was going to be too much for my mom. I tried to just bring in gifts so that everyone else would be able to open and enjoy their gifts from us. And it just hit me as I walked into my mother's house. Everyone in the family was there. Everyone was having a grand ol' time. Everyone was laughing and enjoying Christmas. Everyone including my mom. She was not "resting". She was in the middle of it all enjoying having everyone around her enjoying Christmas. I lost it. I put the gifts down said we were unable to make it tomorrow. And I tried to leave. My mom said something about staying for a minute but I was too upset. I just yelled " No thank you, I was uninvited to dinner. REMEMBER?!" My mom tried to corner me into letting her talk to me and tell me that was not what she meant. BULL SHIT!
I just turned and left. Apparently, she did corner my hubby and yelled at him seeing his mom that morning. Right after we left, my brother in-law calls to offer dinner back via Dad but then turned around in less than ten minutes to call to tell us my mom trumped dad And we were not invited.
That has to be a world recorded, Uninvited twice in the same day to Christmas dinner.
The next day dad called Sean to say that I was wrong for "blowing up" at Christmas and that mom's intention was not to exclude us from Christmas. Which is what she did. She would not acknowlwdge my feelings. It was like them saying I did not even have the right to be mad.
I have not talked to her since. Sean took the kids to over to get their Christmas presents and his. They would not give him mine. Which doesn't really bother me except it is like them treating me like a child and grounding me. "if she will not talk to us then she can't have her gifts." *roll eyes* They still do not care they hurt me deeply my excluding me.
DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA! I am tired of DRAMA!
FYI, I ended up eating dinner out at a Chinese restaurant. At 6:30 when The nut dropped the kids off 5 hours late.
Update on mom, she is still having a hard time with the cancer. I wish there was more I could do but she keeps pushing me away. This last time was a bit much for me so I have not talked to her since Christmas morn when I was uninvited to Christmas dinner. Yes, I was the only one in the family not invited to dinner. B/C, my hubby, kids, and myself "are too much to handle and mom needs her rest."
If you want to skip the drama skip to the next DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA.
Ok let me go ahead and tell you the whole story. This summing crap is not working for me.
Mom got sick again and went back to the hospital a few days before Christmas. She ended up getting out Christmas morning. I had Christmas Eve dinner at my father in-law's. I was too tired to do Midnight-Mass (due to health), so I went home and crashed. Christmas Morning we get a call from mom that she is getting out. Great! I went to my mom in-law's for breakfest and was planning on going to mom's at 1 p.m. I knew the nut would not bring the kids back in time so I could go over and help and just "hang out". I get a call from mom in the middle of breakfast. ' I understand you are not planning to come over until after you get the kids." I told her that was correct. She then tells me she will be " too tired to do Christmas then" so I should just come over the next day. This is mom's passive aggressive way of saying "I am mad at you for not coming over first thing this morning. I am going to punish you." I very nicly agree and get off the phone with her. I was trying not ot get too upset at the breakfast table with Sean's family right there. I then talked to Sean , who reminded me that he did not have the next day off. I ended up being visibly upset all morning. I tried to enjoy the gifts my "new Family" was giving me but all I could think of was I had no idea what I was going to do for dinner now that I was uninvited to dinner with my family. (PB&J anyone?) So my Granny was coming down to cook Christmas dinner, along with my aunt, my 2 cousins, and baby. My sister her new hubby, my brother and DR. M were all going to be there for dinner. But my family was going to be too much for my mom. I tried to just bring in gifts so that everyone else would be able to open and enjoy their gifts from us. And it just hit me as I walked into my mother's house. Everyone in the family was there. Everyone was having a grand ol' time. Everyone was laughing and enjoying Christmas. Everyone including my mom. She was not "resting". She was in the middle of it all enjoying having everyone around her enjoying Christmas. I lost it. I put the gifts down said we were unable to make it tomorrow. And I tried to leave. My mom said something about staying for a minute but I was too upset. I just yelled " No thank you, I was uninvited to dinner. REMEMBER?!" My mom tried to corner me into letting her talk to me and tell me that was not what she meant. BULL SHIT!
I just turned and left. Apparently, she did corner my hubby and yelled at him seeing his mom that morning. Right after we left, my brother in-law calls to offer dinner back via Dad but then turned around in less than ten minutes to call to tell us my mom trumped dad And we were not invited.
That has to be a world recorded, Uninvited twice in the same day to Christmas dinner.
The next day dad called Sean to say that I was wrong for "blowing up" at Christmas and that mom's intention was not to exclude us from Christmas. Which is what she did. She would not acknowlwdge my feelings. It was like them saying I did not even have the right to be mad.
I have not talked to her since. Sean took the kids to over to get their Christmas presents and his. They would not give him mine. Which doesn't really bother me except it is like them treating me like a child and grounding me. "if she will not talk to us then she can't have her gifts." *roll eyes* They still do not care they hurt me deeply my excluding me.
DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA! I am tired of DRAMA!
FYI, I ended up eating dinner out at a Chinese restaurant. At 6:30 when The nut dropped the kids off 5 hours late.
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